unfortunate bearer of the bad news

www.spa.gov.my

received the news on friday afternoon. was told to check it out on the 1st nov but i had a hunch after the friday prayer to look at the website.

it was a n.o

“tidak berjaya dlm urusan ini”

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the day was full of crappy things in office. and there it was again.

how does it feel?

disappointed.

it took me more than 24hours to absorb the news, bitter thts how i feel

but i had worst experience.

i choose to publish this so i dont have to explain further to curious peers tht wanted to know my interview result next Monday.

My response

My official press release will somehow sound like this:

Jika pihak suruhanjaya perkhidmatan awam dengan penuh profesional telah mempertimbangkannya, lalu berpuas hati bahawa saya tidak berkelayakan dan tidak seharusnya diberi peluang bagi menyandang jawatan tersebut, seterusnya berpendapat bahawa jawatan tersebut lebih layak diberikan kepada orang lain, maka saya harus menerima keputusan itu dengan berlapang dada dan meneruskan peranan saya dalam jawatan sekarang  dengan penuh kecemerlangan.

The opportunity itself  was a sweet memory.

later when i progress in life,  whenever i remember the interview session, i’d be very grateful and smile back to myself.

although it seems very paradox when i listened to their pre-judgements and advices,  i’d love to hear how they rated me over a cup of tea – my treat, in an unofficial manner, so i can be better person, not just make me feel better.

its a slim chance the interviewer will read this, but if in god’s willing our path crosses in the future, i’ll remind myself to give both of you the warmest gesture.

penjelasan di laman web

if this helps, lets look at the odds

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continue the pursue?

no thanks. i’m too tired to go through the cycle.

if i went for another round i’d personally declare myself insane.

“ukur baju di badan sendiri”.

i did measure my abilities, and i responded to the challenges (with style).

i thought i was smart enough, fit enough but Allah seem to have other things planned for me.

wut next?

the dao is a big thing. yes i’d love to be 1 but there are other big things in life.

matters tht i hv never looked upon closely.

i still remember when they said tht i could be a gud dao, and maybe i should just stay put, holding on to the current job bcoz they see tht i was good at wut i’m doing now.

was i wrong to aim high? not.

was i impatient? yes. like always when it comes to certain things.

last words (for now)

thanks mak ayah n kakak for the prayers,

thanks friends for the cheers,

thanks bos n big bos for supporting signing the approval form to attend the interview.

sorry i didn’t make the last cut.

but

i promise i’ll still be the smart-ass.

something i wrote tht relates to this http://banyu.org/blog/2008/11/23/self-development-this-week/